monke was my cat.
now i have none.
so i go out and play.


   
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Nov 3, 2004
you never know how blessed you are until...

just the other day we saw that kid in a corner of a gas station.
he was sprawling on tummy, totally engrossed on something that he wrote in book, using his mouth to hold the pencil.
his mouth?
because his arms and legs are just stumps that stop before his would be elbows and knees. all four of them.
this is not the first time we saw the little boy. we saw him being pulled in a soapbox behind his father's cart a couple of times. sometimes still in a uniform.
and that afternoon we saw that uniform in a heap behind him, beside his colorful schoolbag. with him happily doing his homework on a piece of concrete like there's no worries in the world.
his father told us the little boy is in the first grade, but he would like to enter him in school for physically disabled children. he talk about his son with this proud look on his face.
i shall never forget the boy's face as he merrily waved us goodbye, with what's left of his hand. it is a face of a happy child. a happy child of a proud father.
it was a humbling experience.

Posted at 10:08 am by monke
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Nov 1, 2004
sms

i got the sms while sitting in a cab, waiting anxiously for a reply.
i know what it said even before i read it.
and i felt this hotness in my eyes. they were wet.
why this sudden melancholy?
is it the relief of getting a reply?
or because the sms only confirmed my suspicions that it didn't really meant what it said.
no matter how much i want to believe it's true.
it was just too... predictable.
which is never a good sign.
i decided not to reply back.

Posted at 09:34 am by monke
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Oct 21, 2004
steps

when you thought you have gone this further up
here comes a question that pulls you several steps back.
know what?
it's actually nice.

Posted at 03:07 pm by monke
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Oct 15, 2004
the lion roars

if i'm not careful, this blog will turn into a travel journal.
seems my brain is filled with nothing else lately.
december coming up, which means another trip is brewing.
research, done. the first of intan's famous spreadsheets arrived in my inbox today. that gal's a freak. but freaky friends have their uses in times like this :p
all i need to do is get permission for my leave.
and work out my own budget, what's with my plan on buying a laptop. yes, i resolvedly end my prehistoricness right here.

speaking of trip, just got back from singapore last night.
missed the early flight on wednesday. yikes. grading already done when we got to frameworks. once we get all the online and check in and stuff, me and hardi headed on to ikea. damn. cannot escape this place. it's not about how much i spend there. it's the SIZE.

went back to the hotel, had a nice long bath and went out for a drink with the frameworks guys. this time it's the beer place at the riverside just across clarke quay. man, i hate beers, not matter how they smell, what they are made of, how many percentage the alcohol. i hate beers. period. but the surrounding is nice, although i think the strong wind had cost me a sore throat.

thursday is shopping day. after went to the gym and have a dip in the swimming pool, me and alfa roamed the chinatown on the way to the bagua shop. so fascinating, the brightly painted windows and patterned-ceramic walls was sleepy and peaceful in the morning, although i imagine it must be bustling with life at night. we passed the royal peacock and 1929 (have to stay there sometime in the future!), do a little clothes shopping, get our bagua and got a cab back to the hotel.

several hours later was spent chasing glass chess set around singapore. looking for props abroad, now that's something. already exhausted, i embraced orchard halfheartedly. that stila smoke pot i coveted turned out hasn't reached singapore yet. and no decent and affordable laptop bag around. i ended up buying a glitzy top (fancy that!), a really cool pants and an itzy bitzy silvery party purse.

raced back to the hotel, no cabs in sight, i ended up taking mrt. yes, my first solo mrt trip was taken in a panicky mind. i almost cried. even when i arrived at the tanjung pagar station, with amara in sight, i have no idea where i should go. heh.

never thought i would be so glad to be back in big bad jakarta...

Posted at 09:12 pm by monke
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waiting for the star to fall

when want turns to need
whan waiting gets more unbearable
there's only one sound advice
get out.


Posted at 08:21 pm by monke
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Oct 11, 2004
memories

how often do you blame fate for the bad things that happened to you?
or other people?
or, in that case, that black cat that happened to cross your path?
y'know, most things that happen to you resulted from decissions. yours. and decissions come with consequences. it's your call on which path you should follow.

after all, life is nothing but a trip. one day you stumble into a piece of paradise, and next moment you get a flat tire. but as Maria said to von Trapp, Nothing comes from nothing. you just try to be good and who knows, someday something good just might happen to you.

sometimes you have to accept that all happenings, good or bad, are bound to pass and reduced to memories. some you remember with fondness, some with "what the hell was i thinking?!?"

one thing that i must repeatedly remind myself is that i entered this situation fully aware of what might happen. but no matter what, this is one memory i'll remember with fondness. i had my cake and ate it. and if you must know, it was delicious.

Posted at 11:07 am by monke
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Sep 29, 2004
man....

at the right moment,
it can take only a small thing to blew your top.
very small.
like somebody who thinks she's god almighty.
...deep breath... deeeeeep breaaaaattthhhh....

Posted at 04:26 pm by monke
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Sep 27, 2004
if there's one thing you should expect from a guy...

it's that never expect them to change.

Posted at 10:46 am by monke
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Sep 21, 2004
judge not a book by its cover

it's funny when you think about stereotypes.
sometimes you can be so sure when you look at some types and you can guess what they do, what they are like, how they'll treat their opposite sex...
and in some cases, you can be miles off.
like this person i just met.
i mean, by default, he should be gay. he does something that's predominantly gay occupation, immaculately dressed, and very easy for a girl to be with. can convincingly act like one too, heh heh heh.
but fortunately, or unfortunately for gays out there, he's not.
and it can happen to anyone. like how people always accused me of smoking when for the love of god i can't find what's so good about it. and some other accusations that makes me wonder if it's the culprit of some of my situations now.

being too opiniated. i does that too. liking or disliking something for no good reason. sounding my preferences without thinking it through. and kicking myself on the butt afterwards for saying too much.

ah. human.

Posted at 03:34 pm by monke
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Sep 16, 2004
bandang!

bandung after... don't even remember last time.

the difference? not much, aside from worse traffic. and more malls. and a strech of dusty street where they build that bypass. and that mile-long waiting list at those posh, citylights-view restaurants. all in all, a totally different thing from that sweet old city that i frequented in highschool.

the pariwara is a joke. get more thrill from that 4 minutes benyamin band compare to the whole night. didn't even go to the post-party on the roof.

the next night stayed at Vic's aunt's versace mansion at bumiasih. jaw dropped to the floor as we see the remote-operated gate. for real. a real nice lady, smothered us with food until we get suspicious she's hansel and gretel's witch trying to fatten us up :D

ate dinner at the valley. great steak. after some puny attempt to play cards, it turns out that everybody's very tired and we went to sleep.

those lazy boys. thanks to them, we finally got out of the house *after some sumptuous brekkie ofcourse* at nearly 12. got to the train station almost 2 hours afterwards, we just have little time in ciwalk before everybody have to go back to the house to pack. i jumped ship to intan's group coz i'll be retuning the next morning. meanwhile, i spend my time doing something really corny. like meeting a friendster friend. hahahaha... a totally worthwhile thing to do!! <just in case he read this sometime :)>

went back to casa d'ladera with intan's gang. then have dinner @ the peak. crummy food with nasty price. then joined with ismet and mandy turning bandung upside down looking for a place to drink. at last found north sea <a sailor bar in the middle of a midland town if there ever was one> in braga. seems like the dodgy end of the town at night, what with the girls... or boys with long hair... can't tell with so little light. nursing my margarita, i realized i haven't done this in awhile. how i love to be among my friends. let's not wait to get to bandung before i can feel this again...


Posted at 07:29 pm by monke
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